Indiana University (Noun): A school where students spend more time drinking than going to class

Hi, I’m Laura and I’m walking kilombo.

Back at home my friends know me inside and out; all the good, the bad, and the ugly. I believe they would describe me as:

fun,

outgoing,

a complete mess-yes that’s more appropriate.

They’ve been there holding my hair back when I’ve been “sick.” They’ve been there dancing on the bar with me. They’ve been there for so many memories (most of which I unfortunately don’t really remember). We have more fun than you could shake a stick at, and I miss them and their ridiculous ways daily. They really are why I am the way I am today.

Anyways, I've found myself talking about my life back at home more than normal and it finally hit me why…. Because my life has been f*cking awesome. At first I really didn’t think there were too many cultural differences between Argentines and Americans (sorry, for this one, I’m going to be strictly American). Then the World Cup hit and the differences started to flow like the BP oil spill (too early to joke??!). Ok, let me explain…

People think that Argentines know how to party; they eat late, drink late, and stay out until the sun comes up, an impressive feat to the untrained eye. For an Indiana University (my Alma Mater) student, this is nothing short of a normal week. Like a finely tuned athlete, IU students prepare in their bodies to withstand 5-7 straight nights of booze and bars, beginning with $2.00 Tuesdays at Kilroys and culminating with dropping it low at Sports on Saturday night.

There is a phenomenon that exists in the States called COLLEGE TAILGATING, an indescribable event that I wish everyone in the world could experience. At IU, it might be because our football team could get worked by a little-league squad, but for us a football game = gratuitous drinking.

Let me walk you through the weekend schedule during football season:

Friday

3:00 pm: Finish up classes, go home, and crack open your first fresh, crisp Budlight of the night.

8:30 pm: Rock, paper, scissor to see which roommate will be showering first.

9:00 pm: Shower beers (yes, drinking a beer while showering).

10:00 pm: A combination of Beer Pong, Kings, Power-Hour, Flippy-Cup, or old fashioned shots.

11:30 pm: Bars, shots, bars, shots.

3:00 am: Stumble home.

3:30 am: Enjoy a Big-10 from Pizza Express (I recommend BBQ chicken).

4:00am: Bed.

Saturday

8:00 am: Wake up and don your favorite IU shirt

8:30 am: Decide with the roommates whether you will be enjoying Bloody-Marys or Screwdrivers for breakfast.

10:00 am: Head out to the tailgating fields for an all day drink-fest (don’t forget the puppy).

4:00 pm: After having your fill of hamburgers, brats, shot gunning beers, and port-o-potties, it’s time to get home for a nap.

4:30 pm: Glorious naptime.

8:30 pm: See Friday schedule, and repeat….

So, as you can see, I was completely and utterly shocked when I sat down for the first World Cup game at 11:00 am and realized that NO ONE was going to be drinking.. WTF?? Sports are really the only acceptable excuse to drink in the morning without looking like an alcoholic…

Sorry Argies, but your game and your partying endurance are weak in comparison. Put your training wheels on, learn how to dance to something other than cumbia (preferably hip hop), come to Indiana, and I'll show you how professionals work. And if you freaking ask me again why I am the way I am, please refer back to this post, I’m tired of explaining.

Partyability----Americans: 1, Argentineans: 0.