When little Laura grows up...

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am the official Jane-Of-All-Trades (subtitle: Master-Of-Nothing).

When I was in high school my parents had me take an aptitude test to see where my future career interest lied. After a few weeks the test came back… Inconclusive… It seems that while I liked a vast number of things moderately, I didn’t show a strong aptitude for........

A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

I think the closest I came to “Moderate to High Interest” was being a paralegal; I get that they’re necessary to make the world go round, but the thought of having my nose buried in mounds of paperwork makes inseminating cows sound more appealing (which ironically enough I happened to show slight interest in).

Just for a historical background, I’m going to list a few of the more memorable (context: humiliating, embarrassing, ridiculous) jobs that I have had in my life:

-Soccer Referee

-Sears Hardware Cashier

-Hollister Clothes Folder (1 day)

-Lifeguard, the foundation that led to…

-Swim Coach

-Country Club Beverage Cart Girl

-Coldstone Creamery Ice cream Scooper/Singer for .25 cent tips

-Babysitter/Nanny

-A short stint as a Waitress, where I actually ate off peoples plates before serving them… (2 weeks)

-IU Memorial Union Hotel Front Desk Attendant

-Jagermeister Promotional “Model” what a title…

-Bartender (thank you for two trips to Europe!)

-UPS Account Manager

-Budweiser Merchandiser

-English Teacher

-Market Analysist

-Marketing Intern (Indiana Pacers)

-Project Manager (more data entry less management)

Now this is the shortened list; there are definitely a few that I’m forgetting and unfortunately I’m without my W-2s to paint you the exact scene, but I believe you get the point. I’ve never flipped burgers at McDonalds, but by looking at this list, I wouldn’t put it past me.

If there’s a random job, I’ve inevitability done it or am going to do it. I’m what you’d consider a flaky employee. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy working (ie spending money) and at one point in my life was extremely worried about becoming a workaholic. Thankfully I snapped out of that phase of my life. I’m just saying that you probably shouldn’t count on me being around for the long haul, giving 110%, going the extra mile, etc... that is, unless one day I get paid to do absolutely nothing, at which point I’ll totally rock.

Now I’m at that point where I want to get into my career, or more so, I’m succumbing to social norms that dictate that I should be getting into my career. Yet even at 25 years old, I still don’t know what it is that I want to do. When I was a kid I would always say I wanted to either be a brain surgeon or an actress. Since neither of those lucrative careers panned out, I’ve gotta get back to the drawing board.

I recently started a 9-5 with a company who will be sponsoring my visa, giving me great benefits, nice vacation perks, etc etc. And you know what?? After a week and a half of working, it just now hit me… I HATE WORKING A 9-5!! I’m just no good at it. When 1:00 creeps around, right after you’ve had a bite to eat, you know what I want to be doing??? Sleeping. Not mind-numbingly entering data into spreadsheets. Not sitting in a high rise watching the world go by. Not backing up and archiving past projects. Just blissfully sleeping, maybe even in the park after reading a few chapters of my latest Spanish love story.

And so I’m stuck. I’ve had great positions in the past, but none of them have screamed, “STAY IN THIS POSITION FOR THE REST OF YOUR WORKING LIFE!” I haven’t had my ¡Ahaa! moment that’s magically defined what I want to do. I’ve always been envious of people who have always known what they want to do. Take my sister for example; when she was a kid, she always knew that she wanted to be teacher. And you know what? She is a elementary school teacher, achieving her goals, and gettin stuff done... Why can’t I be like that?

I’m sure you’re all sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for my witty antidote as to what all this means, where I’m going, what I’m doing, etc. Well, unfortunately I’m just as clueless as the rest of you about what to do, where to work, live, or *gulp* settle down… And I really don't think any of those drawn out cliches like, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again," or "the right job will find you," will help me put highlights in my hair and new dresses on my hips.

I guess while I’m waiting to figure out the rest, I’ll cross my fingers for an Erin Brockovitch-esque moment in my life where a fabulous job magically falls in my lap (note to self: buy great push up bra to speed up this process). Until then I’ll be waking up like the rest of the sorry saps who trudge to their futile jobs daily, living each and every day for Happy Hours and long weekends…

Side note: Thank god I live in Argentina where we have a long weekend once every month… How you like them apples huh??!?