Monday, April 26, 2010

Your Kid May Ride the Short Bus, but He's Still a Genius to You

I often think back to the first week I had my puppy, Moose. He had the sweetest face, a big round belly, and beautiful green eyes. At nine weeks old, he was a rolly, polly fat boy. The first time he snuggled his cute little mug into my neck and I smelled his perfect puppy breath, I knew I was in love.

Like most new dog owners, I got him all the cool stuff; the great collar and leash with “Moose Gilbert” proudly sparkling from his new tag, the toys, the bed, everything. “I’ll spare no expense on this little guy.” What a joke, although I’m sure I’ll do the same with my first-born child.

I vividly remember my first of many walks with my chocolate companion. Typical of new puppies, he wouldn’t walk with a leash. After a few attempts of yanking him around the block, I simply gave up, took off the leash and started walking. To my utter shock and amazement, this little-bitty puppy leisurely strolled next to me, making sure he was always within one or two steps of my feet. I got home and called Mama G and bragged about how great my puppy was.

I’m not a superstitious person, but I believe I tested fate and lost the second I let those words slip out of my mouth. From that day forward, Moose became a little terror. He ate expensive shoes, prescription glasses, he got into trash, jumped up on counters to grab food, but the most impressive feat I saw, was the successful passage of a certain feminine product that a roommate left at “Moose-Level.” The similarities between “Marly and Me” are countless and hilarious (only after the fact, when I’ve cooled down).

Sure, I taught little Moose-Knuckle the basics; “sit, stay, shake, roll over, sit pretty, and the infamous, speak!” Yet, all these cute tricks can’t mask the undeniable fact that my dog is absolutely and utterly stupid. No sir, he is not the sharpest crayon in the box, but he’s mine and I love him that much more for his flaws.

Don’t worry; I’m rounding the bases to my point. Every day I am amazed at how smart the dogs in Buenos Aires are. Sure, you’ll see the odd dumb ass here and there, but the majority of dogs are remarkably intelligent, especially in comparison to my “Indiana-country-bumpkin” of a dog.

The most impressive characteristic of the pooch population in BA is that they walk by themselves. There’s no need for a leash and they don’t take off when something catches their eye, or their nose. Moose has this radar can sense a tennis ball or a scrap of food within a 100 ft; the bane of our existence while walking… His canine counterparts in S. America even know when it’s safe to cross a busy street. I mean come on!! Now you’re just showing off! Dogs are color blind; there’s no way you knew that light just turned green!!

Moose recently passed “Puppy Boot Camp” with the parentals, however he was made the example quite a few times of “what not to do.” No, he’s not the smartest of animals; what he lacks in intelligence, he makes up with a larger than life personality. And to all the dogs in Buenos Aires, I scoff at you and your polished intelligence. I like my dogs like I like my men; Midwestern, corn fed and proud!!


1 comment:

  1. In Moose's defense, at Puppy Bootcamp he was made an "example" because he was a shining star under the Mama G tutelage!!! Come on, give a dog a break, bow wow!

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